The One with the Goose Egg

Ask my husband sometime about how crazy nuts I am about my grades. I don't know what it is. I was always a good student. I was on the honor roll most of the time. But let's face it, I was no valedictorian. I didn't spend my days nose in book, I quite frequently ignored homework to hang out with friends.

Since starting back to school though, I have been insane. I spend way too much time on my homework. Almost all of my teachers have mentioned that my work goes above and beyond. I have this sick desire to be able to put on my resume that I graduated with a 4.0 in my program, and I do the work to get there.

Two weeks ago was finals week. My two classes this time were Pathos of Pathology and Health Care Finance. By far my two favorite blocks of school. I LOVE that I am now getting into core classes, not focusing my energies and lame research papers week after week after week. The teachers in these classes were incredible, and engaging, I learned a ton. I had a solid A in each one of my classes going into the final.

I submitted my final papers in both classes two Sundays ago and can honestly say that for the first time I wasn't really worried . . . . . which was a relaxing feeling and change of pace. Monday morning my Pathos teacher had already graded my paper. She marked me down 25 points for things I can honestly say were ridiculous, ending my grade with a 93.6%. Now some of you may think "That's not so bad!" and in reality I guess it isn't. But it's bad because it would bring down my 4.0 for mark downs that weren't even legitimate. After some talking to the teacher (which I have never done before) she saw that she had just completely missed the parts of the paper she marked me down for not including. This whole process took about three days. And let me tell you, it wasn't an awesome three days. The idea of losing my 4.0 because a teacher was grading papers all through the night and just didn't read my paper well enough to see that I hit all the concepts I was supposed to was maddening.

But: CRISIS AVERTED! After talking on Friday and reviewing the paper together, she gave me credit, changed the grade and I was back to my 4.0.

My finance teacher was a little slower. By Saturday morning, she still hadn't posted final grades. Saturday evening I was on the phone with my sister when I decided to check out the class and see if grades were posted.

Log in.
View previous classes.
MESSAGE! YAY! Grades must be posted.
Grab final assignment.
And what do I see?
A BIG FRIGGEN GOOSE EGG!!

A mild profanity escaped my mouth. I'll be honest and own up to that. Nothing to bring down your GPA faster than accidentally submitting your PREVIOUS weeks assignment as your final. Nothing will bring it down faster especially when consdering the final is worth 1/4 of the grade!!!!!

She had written me an email "Crystal, I am honestly heart sick. It appears you submitted your final project resources instead of your implementing EMR powerpoint. I wish I could do something for you! You have, by far, been my favorite student."

CRAP! So the class I went into the final having a 98% in, I get to end by having a 70% in. Seems ridiculous that just 24 hours before I was concerned about the 93.6 I was ending up with in Pathos. So much for my 4.0.

Range of emotions for sure. I can honestly say that if you saw me at church Sunday morning and though man her eyes look puffy, that is why. I would be lying if I didn't say I cried. What a STUPID thing to bring down my GPA.

Don't think too bad on the teacher. Unfortunately they are required. They cannot accept the final even a day late for a deduction. And ont he one hand, while I wanted to ask for an extension citing my 4.0 as a legitimate reason to assume I had indeed done the assignment on time, I knew I couldn't accept a diploma having asked for special treatment.

So down goes the 4.0. And for something stupid no less. I am utterly speechless and heartsick over it. I always told Eric that I was working this hard in school because I wouldn't accept anything less than perfection, and that if I was to get anything other than a 4.0 I would have to feel like I had truly done something wrong. Well I did. I know this one was all on me. I'm not upset with my teacher. I'm not upset with the school. It sucks growing up and realizing you have to take responsibility for your own mistakes. And sometimes they come at huge costs.

It may seem ridiculous to be so upset about his. I mean, sure a 3.8 is still graduating with honors. but there is something that sounds so different about it. It's like turning 25 sounds so different than 24.

I'll get over it eventually. And honestly I graduate in October and move straight into the next program, at which point I can work towards a 4.0 again. But I am taking some time to be a little sad right now. Sad about getting my first goose egg on an assignment.

And sad because my teacher reviewed my final presentation and said I would have gotten a 100% on it.

You live you learn, you get burned, you move on.

I think clearly this means I have too much going on, and clearly it means I don't master it as well as I once thought.